This post is not personal, even if some of you that I know in real life are guilty of this, as well as I am at times. This is not to criticize anyone but just something that I have noticed and have been considering. I have been guilty of all the below at one time or another, but I am trying to pay attention to what I am doing.
Texting and cell phones can be a valuable
assets and tool for many, but just like everything that is good about modern technology it can have a dark side.
Texting has always been a pet peeve of mine. I didn't realize how much I hated it until Amanda moved in with us. At the time I had unlimited
texting on my phone, even though I seldom used it. Two of my friends enjoy passing along info that way, so for their sake I joined in. I don't mind it as long as it is used the way I think it should be used, and therein may lie some of the problem, my own opinion of what is appropriate.
Amanda would rather text than talk on the phone. What could amount to a 5 min conversation turned into 30 minutes of
texting back and forth. The constant beeping of the phone to let me know I had received a message was enough to put me over the edge, in that she and I shared a similar dislike, so she had it on vibrate. I noticed that
texting was just a filler of time. She was bored, and instead of having to have
awkward conversation because she had nothing to say,
texting filled a void. Needless to say I quickly took off the unlimited
texting and have so far refused to get her a phone. This is a side note, but she has no car or
license and no job, so what on earth does she need a phone for?
The next thing that I noticed about
texting is that it can be incredibly rude. People feel the freedom to
interrupt you at times that they wouldn't otherwise do. If I knew someone was hanging out with someone, I wouldn't call them to tell them that I just found our favorite cereal on sale. Somehow
texting has a way of inserting you into people's private times, and yes you don't have to answer, but I have never been with a person who when their phone beeps doesn't at least check the message, and most of the time respond to some inane question or comment.
My sister in law says that there are kids that come over to her house to play with her kids, and they stand in the kitchen
texting other kids. "How rude"
When I was a kid or teenager I would never dream of disturbing my parents on a date or while they were visiting the neighbors. I would only call or go over if something really important was about to go down, and if I did dare
interrupt it would only be once, not these multiple
interruptions. My mother had friends on either side of us growing up, and she spent time at both of those places. I wouldn't dream of asking her to stop her visit to tell me where my socks were, or if I could eat the last yogurt. I would have been forced to wait, and that may be the key to this whole post. People have almost completely lost the ability to wait patiently or contentedly for anything.
What in the world is wrong with our kids not having access to us every second of the day. I know that cell phones have given us more freedom than our mothers, but it has certainly come at a price. The funny thing is that not to many people seem to mind what is happening. Of course I love that I can get a hold of Amanda when she is out, and she can contact me, but I look at that as emergency types of situations, or when there is a change of plans and she is checking in. That is the extent of my comfort level on being disturbed by a phone. I have no desire to get a text letting me know that the cherry rush at Dairy Queen is the bomb.
I believe that
texting also hinders relationships. It is so much easier to apologize, thank someone, or say something unpleasant than it is to do the hard thing, and think of what and how you are going to say something. Also, I was in the dentist office waiting a long time for Amanda to have some work done, and there were 2 other people in there with me. There was nothing to do but wait, I had brought a book to read to pass the time, but as I was sitting there I felt that maybe I should make myself available to chat with the people in the waiting room. I made some small talk with the receptionist and then turned to sit down, both people who were waiting were
texting or playing a game on the phone. They did so for the entire hour that I was in the waiting room, needless to say, I pulled out my book and lost myself. While traveling to Haiti we had to spend several hours in Miami and Atlanta airports, and it was so pleasant to see people just sitting and waiting. They had pleasant looks on their faces and seemed open. I spoke to several people like that, and it honestly meant something. I had a personal connection with people I don't know.
Texting has just become one more way that we are wrapped up in ourselves and our own lives.
I think that I rely on peoples voice to tell me what is going on with them. I can tell if one of the kids is up to no good by the tone of their voice. I can tell if someone seems down or irritated, etc, etc. If I lose that, or if it is replaced too often with the
artificial communication, I lose touch. My friend who lives in Brazil can post something personal, she can email me something thoughtful and kind, but I do not feel the same, and I think she doesn't either as a nice chat on the phone. For now that is as good as it can get, when she visits though that outshines the phone. Why would I ever want to give that up or trade those moments with
IM, or
texting? For the sake of my children, until they know the value of human contact, this house will remain a text free zone for a good long while.
Remember this is not criticism, this is just a place where I record what is in my head.
